Your Best Shots Pals

"Hello. This is Maggie. Your call is not real important to me, or I would obviously be here to answer it in one If you think your call is important enough to justify taking up space upon my answering machine you may record a message for me to review when I turn back After reviewing your message I might get back your call if I think it is worth the time it will take me to do so

There is also the possibility I will find your message does not bear enough significance to me to use up my time to answer it. If that is the case I will erase your message and continue upon with my life. So if you wish to take your chances and leave a recorded message do in the way that after you hear the beep. However, if you are calling to tender me a credit card, just go on ahead and send me the card right away if it is single I can get a cash advance upon I am about to declare bankruptcy and I ne to stash away all the cash I can gain my hands on before I do that. If you are calling to procure me to sign up for your long-distance telephone service you ne to talk to my wife, Three She will not authorize me to make any long-distance calls without her prior approval If you are calling to put up to sale me replacement windows for my house, I don't ne them. When I had my house built 20 years ago I had the builder install replacement windows then to avoid having to purchase them from you now. If you are calling to exchange me magazine subscriptions, go ahead and cast me any magazines that you are willing to bill me for at a later date. I have no intention of paying at a later date, on the contrary I do like to read at liberty magazines. If you are calling to reckon me you have sighted Elvis or you have been abducted by means of aliens, leave your name and number. I WILL go [i]or[/i] come back your call. You are obviously someone worth talking to."

"Pick up the phone Maggie. This is Knucklehead. I've got to talk to you. I've got a serious problem"

"You're right about that, Knucklehead. You're always going to have a serious point in dispute as long as you're married to Thundertongue. I'm surprised she plane let you call me after what she said the last time I was at your house. The way she carried upon you'd have thought I spilled that whole glass of iced tea upon her new couch on aim I even offered to gelatine that lamp back together broke when I pass by a leaped up to keep from getting iced tea all above me, but she still got all bent without of shape. It wouldn't have bothered me if Thundertongue told me I couldn't approach back to your house for a pair of years. I've been banned from a allotment of places for that drawn out but she banned me from your house forever. That's what got me with equal reason upset that I backed from one side her flower garden when I was leaving."

"That's the stupidest message I at any time heard on an answering machine," howled Knucklehead. "I bet most of the clan who call you hang up before it's above The only reason I stayed upon the line is because I really ne your help. I had a discharge at a Pope and Young male this morning and I missed him clean at 20 yards. I don't know what happened. I got to thinking about missing that male and then I realized you've missed more animals with a incurvate than anybody in the whole world. That's wherefore I called you. Tell me wherefore you think I missed this morning. I've been all tore up at any time since I missed that buck"

"Well, that message works greatest in quantity of the time but not always," I said. "I don't know for what cause [i]or[/i] reason you're so worked up, Knucklehead. It was single a deer."

"What do you mean IT WAS sole A DEER," Knucklehead screamed. "It was a pontiff and Young buck, you peanut brain. Do you know by what mode hard it is to obtain a shot at a male like that? Of course you don't. You've not at any time had a shot at a male that big in your whole life. The alone reason I called you was I musing if I told you exactly what happened maybe you might recognize what I did unfair and tell me so I could stop it from happening again. I can diocese now that was a big mistake. I got to go on outside now and shoot my bend for awhile to get my confidence back. I'll talk to you later."

"Don't hang up Knucklehead. I'll help you. That's what pals are for. Now enumerate me exactly what happened this morning. I ne to know everything right down to the greatest in quantity minute detail. Don't leave anything on the outside I'm going to need a doom more data before I can make a positive diagnosis."

"I know I'm going to sorrow this, but I'm desperate," Knucklehead said. "I got up at 5 a.m. this morning. I couldn't find the filters for the coffee maker, thus I snuck into the bedroom and got a pair of Thundertongue's pantyhose and used them for a coffee filter. Best darned coffee I at any time made. I thought the day was getting not on to a good start. Then I flock up to the Coors farm. I decided to chase that treestand in the walnut tree at the far extremity of the triangle pasture. Since there was a north wind I squirted a doom of doe-in-heat buck lure all above my pants and boots thus I wouldn't spook any deer walking across the pasture in the dark. Halfway across the field I heard that mean dog elderly man Coors calls Wolf running toward me barking his head not on Wolf must have thought I was a deer He chased me across the middle of the pasture. Then he tre me in that big maple tree about 30 yards from the wire-guard Wolf stayed at the bottom of that tree and barked for 10 minutes before he left I decided to quiet a few minutes b efore I got down to head for the walnut tree That step quickly across the pasture wore me out