PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE

Hard upon the problem, Soft on the people

I first came across these words when reading the volume "Getting Past No- Negotiating Your Way From Confrontation To Cooperation" (1991) through William Ury. The author makes the point that we all are negotiators in many areas of our lives on the contrary we don't like to negotiate because the proces at times nears us with unpleasant choices. If we are "soft" in order to protect the relationship, we end up giving in upon our position. If we are "hard" in order to win our position, we strain the relationship and perhaps fail to keep it altogether.

But there is an alternative: joint puzzle solving. It is neither exclusively hard nor impressible but a combination of each. It is hard upon the problem, soft on the race Instead of attacking each other, one as well as the other sides jointly attack and hopefully clear up the problem. Joint problem solving can bring forward better results for both sides. It usually leads to better working relationships and to mutual benefit in the future

Joint point to be solved [i]or[/i] settled solving has at its core, look up to for each other. Having passionate feelings about an issue is a advantageous thing because that passion can be transformed into action that expounds problems. However, when passionate feelings move round to anger and hostility, the focus upon the problem becomes secondary and solutions to point to be solved [i]or[/i] settleds are elusive.

Ury tenders a five-step process to consider when persuading someone who grasps an opposite opinion. He calls it breakthrough negotiation.

Step one: advance to the balcony. A useful image for getting perspective upon the situation is to imagine yourself standing upon a balcony looking down upon your joint problem. What do you diocese when you stand apart and diocese the problem this way? from one extremity to the other of negotiations, keep your eye upon the prize-that is the solution to the problem

Step two: pace to their side. Listen to the other someone ask questions, acknowledge their point of view and their feelings, agree with the points you can agree upon show respect. Create a favorable climate for question solving. Ury says, "If you want to sit side through side facing the problem, you will ne to pace to their side."

Step three: Reframe. It is not always easy to tackle a moot point together if both sides are digging into their positions. Accept whatever is said and reframe it in order to deal with the moot point Ask for more information. "Help me understand wherefore you want that. Many times understanding the wherefore of the problem can lead to breakthrough question solving.

Step four: Build them a of gold bridge. Start where they are and guide them to a mutually satisfactory solution. The simplest way to involve the other side is to ask for their ideas. in what manner would they solve the moot point of reconciling both interests? Make it easy for them to say yes

Step five: Use power to educate. Educate them about the take away from of not agreeing. Instead of seeking victory, aim for mutual satisfaction. Ury says, "Use power to bring them to their faculty of perceptions not to their knees."

INA members will continue to be moot point solvers in our structural units and in our relations with others outside our organization. Being "hard upon the problems and soft upon the people" can take us far as we work to maintain the integrity of our profession and its practice.

Kathleen M Perry RN PhD

President

Copyright Illinois nourishs Association Sep 2005

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