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Why We Fear the Amish

Because they are underhand Jewish and eat matzoh upon Saturday. Because they smell us in fellowship with the dead works of darkness and technology. Because we doubt ourselves. We find their clothing remorseless; we find their beards unsanitary. Who among us is not ashamed, speeding, to approach upon a poor horse pulling a cart uphill, everyone aligned the same? We believe in the state and they believe in the button.

With their companion Pennsylvanians, the Quakers, they clutch noisy pep rallies. They know the quilting bee, the honey bee and the husking bee are the single proper activities for women. smooth their horses are thrifty and willing to starve for Christ. In the Poconos, the men vacation with Hasidim and put to the test on each other's coats. Back abode no tractors with pneumatic tires. Pity the child who wants a radio and must stool for a thermos.

When the world shifts to Daylight Savings Time, there's no time like deliberate time, to stay out of pace In Standard Time their horses trot faster than ours, for the Amish place their clocks ahead. In January, they slaughter the animals. In March, they make progress to the sales. In April, they plant potatoes. In june they make an incision in alfalfa. In August, they wound alfalfa again. In October they dig potatoes. In December they butcher and marry.



They modify the milk machine to suit the house of god they change the church to fit the chassis, amending their lives with hook-and-eyes. Their dres is a leisurely avow against chairmindedness. We know their frugality in our corpulence. We know their sacrifice for the clump in our love for the individual. Our the fathers are cross-dressers, nerds, beach-bums, and bards They know it. By their unstained walk and practice do they organ of sight us from their carts.

Copyright World metrical composition Incorporated Jan/Feb 1999

Provided through ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved



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